Freedom from guilt and fear
When you realise guilt is not yours, fear looses its grip on you.
A psychopath is an expert in the blamegame and puts blame on their victim like stones in a rucksack. They seem to find pleasure in being a false accuser and they watch with delight when their victim’s rucksack is full and their victim is weighed down with guilt stones.
Why?
It is quite obvious that they are pure evil. And if you get a little bit under the skin of a psychopath - and you might find it really hard to believe it - but they have absolute zero feelings for any person exept themselves. This makes them able to abuse others whilst they themselves sleep like a child at night.
This reminds us of the devil. The name for him in greek is “diabolos”.
Directly translated to English, it is the word “traducer”, which means:
“ someone that exposes to shame or blame by means of falsehood and misrepresentation.”
A good synonym is a “false accuser”, which also is the word that the Bible uses when naming the devil.
A psychopath is also a “diabolos”, and as they are evil they also find pleasure in it.
In my story that I called “Is it my fault??”, I wrote about how “Karen” (my biological mother), withdrew money from my bank account to pay the phone bill. When I found out about it she blamed me for using the phone too much like a “diabolos”, and therefore it “justified” her taking my money to pay the phone bill.
Evil as she was, she enjoyed putting guilt on me while caring nothing that I was left with so little money that if I was to go on my planned trip to my friend, I would have no money for food.
The phone bill was paid with my money, and that was the only thing she cared about. That I potentially could go without food for a week seemed not to bother her even for a second. But I was determined to go, even though I had only money to pay for the trip.
You can read all about it here:
The psychopaths want to destroy their victims, and one way to do that is to blame the victim for what they themselves do.
They often choose a soft hearted, conscientious person, as they are easy victims that don’t want to do wrong, so when the they get accused they examine themselves to see if it really is true what they are accused of. They receive the blame very easily and think it must be their own fault that they are being abused.
On top of that psychopaths are smart, so to silence and disarm their victim they come with “gifts” so that the victim feel bad if they were to say something negative about this “nice” person that gave them money or clothes. So, they feel even more guilt for thinking such “negative” thoughts, and are kept in bondage under the abuser who has absolutely zero remorse for their evil behaviour.
It is even more evil when this is done to a child. A child cannot figure out that it is actually the adult that is the guilty one. They take the blame in on themselves and feel the guilt that they never should have felt, and is completely abused by the one that has all the guilt, namely the evil adult.
If you grew up with an abuser, it is important to get this erased from your system that it was your fault. If not, you will always feel that everything that happens in life is your own fault. We can compare it to a wound that never gets healed properly. It starts to heal, but when something happens, and you feel guilt, the wound is ripped up again. And then you are back to square one again, and the wound has to start the healing process all over again.
And even though you in your head know that it is not your fault, it seems like you can not be rational when guilt shows up. You kind of don’t think, and the feeling of guilt just takes over and dominates you.
The guilt you feel is wrong!
A person that has been accused through childhood will suffer from flashbacks.
For example:
During childhood the child might have heard;
-Take up the pillow from the floor. Why do you always put it there? I am so tired of telling you every day. Can’t you ever do it right??
Then she might hear as an adult:
- Can you take up the pillow from the floor, please?
Even if the accusative words from childhood are never said (or meant), in the mind it automatically comes up anyway, and she feels accused. (Even though she is not.)
So when you feel accused by others, is it really so or is it just the soul having a flashback from the abuser?
It is important to understand that the problem is that there is damage in the soul, by having been abused. This damage causes things to be misunderstood, so you feel accused when you are not. And they can show up from nowhere. An innocent sentence can feel really hurtful. Then keep in mind that the problem is not what was said - but the damage in the soul that causes you to misunderstand what was said.
To understand this will help a lot when you get these flashbacks as an adult.
So as an adult, if you feel accused by someone, think about what that person’s track record is and what the “fruit“ is of that person. If it is good, it is unlikely that it is an accusation, and then you should choose to think good and know that this is just a flashback. Realise that you have a damage/ wound in your soul and refuse to accept the guilt that you feel.
A good rule of thumb is that if you are married to a person that you know is good, it is always flashbacks from the abuse when you feel accused by the spouse.
Look at it all logical and understand that there is no one that accuses me. Every time you do this it will be a step in the right direction, and the wound in the soul will stop being ripped up again and will heal for real.
It is not your fault!
Above we looked at the feeling of being accused, when you actually not.
But what about when you actually are accused by a person that is not good? Just like I was so many times.
Refuse to accept the guilt. It is not my fault. This psychopath is evil and wants to blame me when she is the guilty one.
It is just a lie!
God is the opposite of a psychopath, He is love!
When it comes to God, He never accuses us. He always lifts us and helps us. He can disipline and correct us, but never in the Bible do we see that God accuses us.
Jesus showed us the Father and we never see that Jesus accused anyone. Nowhere in the Bible do we see that Jesus accused people. Contrary we see that He gave hope and future. He cared and had compassion on people.
One example is the woman taken in adultery:
"When Jesus had lifted up Himself, and saw none but the woman, He said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." John 8:10-11
Jesus gave her hope.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”(Jer 29:11)
God’s nature is the opposite of the accuser (devil), and the opposite of a psychopath’s.
There is always a future and hope with Him.
It is always a positive message. A solution even when He corrects us.
Jesus is the very definition of love!
“And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1Cor 13:13)
The Bible says in James 4:7: “ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
You could also say: - Resist the false accuser and he will flee from you.
God told us to resist the false accuser. From this we understand that we should also resist and not accept, when people come and try to be diabolos - false accusers.
So whenever someone comes with a false accusation, we should close our ears, resist it and not receive it.
What should we think about?
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." (Phil 4:8)
As we see, there is no room for us to think about false accusations as they are not part of what we are instructed to think about.
God does not want us to think about false accusations.
He has future and hope for you, and the key is:
To follow Jesus 100% - then He really can help you.
True to the Bible’s instruction, the teaching part of this post is by my husband Emanuel.
-Liv