You are not a burden!
My first story here on Substack ,was about when I was a 15 year old girl on my way home from Church one late evening. I didn’t have a drivers licence of course, so I needed someone to drive me home.
Now this was something that was a constant problem for me every weekend. To find a way to get home after Church.
So I asked friends if I could go with them when their parents came and picked them up, and that way I got myself to a petrol station about 7 km away from my house. If I was lucky, they drove me all the way home, but sometimes I had to call home from this petrol station and ask to be picked up.
If my dad answered, he always came, but if it was Karen it could be a complete different story. She always made herself so difficult, and made me know clear and loud that she did not want to pick me up.
Why? - Because I was a burden to her!
One time, she refused to pick me up for no reason at all. She gave me a long lecture on the phone, before hanging up. So, I had no option but to start walking home on a dark country road, that would take me over an hour to walk, and in addition it was very late.
I think it is fair to say that she had no feelings for her own flesh and blood. ( Yes, she was my mother – but I call her Karen)
If you want to read the story, you can do it here:
So what did this do to me, by her treating me this way?
Obviously, I felt worthless, rejected, unloved and a big burden to her. Many times I had to take care of myself, when I really was to young to do so.
When you grow up with an abuser, it of course affects you. Maybe you have been treated similarly, and recognise yourself in what I write.
Maybe you carry with you the same feeling - of not wanting to be a burden.
In this post I want to share what I believe is the way to get healed from the damage that malicious parents afflicts on defenseless children. And I will deal with the feeling of being a burden.
A malicious parent makes it known loud and clear that the child is a burden in their life.
Let’s think about a newborn baby:
It comes as a gift from God, and designed to be completely in need of its parents.
In the beginning, it is especially very much in need of the mother for feeding, comfort and safety. Without the parents, the baby has no chance of survival. You could say that the baby is a big "burden" for the parents.
But everyone that puts a child into this world has a duty to take care of the child, when it can't take care of itself. God has designed it like that.
So, when parents don't want to do their duty, it is because they don’t love their child.
The child will notice, and will feel like a burden.
But this is a upside down world!
The child is not a burden. It is a child and it is the parents’ duty to take care of their child.
In my case, Karen wouldn’t pick me up when I needed her to. She was fully able to do her duty, but she wouldn’t and I knew on the inside that she didn’t care less about me. I was a burden for her. Maybe I was disturbing her TV time....
But I was not a burden. I was neglected by the one whose duty was to care for me.
When your parent neglects you, life is not over. There is One who cares, The Father of all fathers. And He says:
Isa 49:15: "Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee."
Isa 49:16: "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands"
Let me tell you this:
You are not a burden! It is a lie!
The truth is that they are egoistic parents who don’t care and don’t want to do their duty.
Instead they want you to believe that you are a burden, so that they don’t have to do what the should do, and can continue to live their lazy, egosentric and loveless life.
But is all a lie. You are NOT a burden.
God is your Creator and He wants to be your father and He DOES care about you. You are NOT a burden for Him, contrary Jesus says to you:
John 15:9: "As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love."
and:
John 17:23: "I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me."
God also says:
Jer 31:3: ...." Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love."
Remember: You are loved, and you are not a pain for Him.
The Bible also says that God is Love, and Eph 3:19 says: "And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge"
He even loved you so much that He died for you. That must mean that you are very important to Him! You will never find anyone even remotely like Him. He is the best person you can ever meet.
I heard a song once that said : - Could it be that you (Jesus) would really rather die than live without us?
And thats excactly what he did! A love so strong that He laid His life down for us.
- 1John 3:16 says: "Hereby perceive we the love of God, because He laid down his life for us:
As we have seen - God really loves you and cares about you. Yes, He wants better for you than you want for yourself, and You are definitely not a burden to Him.
And for anyone who loves you, you are not a burden either.
My advice is to think about this, and read these bibleverses until you realise that you are not a burden.
To hear the truth and believe it – will make the lies fade away - and it heals your soul and makes you stronger.
-Liv